"Gender and Sexuality: How Can I Show up as an Ally?"
I have always been a very self-aware person- self-aware with who I am, others around me, and how others act, and how I react to them. Since I was in sixth grade, I have always had friends part of the LGBTQ+ community before I even knew there was such a community that existed. I did not even know being gay was a label, just like being straight was a label. I thought people were just people who liked who they liked and that was that.
One day, a girl came up to me and told me, "People keep saying you're a lesbian." Confused, I asked her, "What's that?" She said, "it's a girl who likes girls" and I said "so what? I do like girls. Don't you?" Of course, I was thinking of friendships with girls. She continues to say, "No, it's a girl who likes to kiss and date girls." I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Okay, what's wrong with being a lesbian? Even though I am not one." She looked at me confused as though she did not have an answer either. Since that day, I had so many questions and was now opened to a whole new world.
My best friend I have known since 6th grade has two mothers. They got married in California when she was a teenager. She got picked on a lot for having lesbian mothers. I could not fathom why people had an issue with people who liked the same sex or were part of the LGBTQ+ community. When I was in 7th grade, my friend was "outted" as bisexual right in front of me while he stood there with obvious shame. I told the girls, "What does bi mean?" And they said, "It's someone who likes girls and boys." I looked my friend and smiled at him with reassurance. I told the girls, "Who cares? I'm still his friend and I don't know why it's a big deal."
To this day, I still have many friends in the LGBTQ+ community. I myself have never struggled with gender or sexuality, and for that I know I am privileged in that sense- and maybe that is because I have grown up in a world with these unique people around me and have accepted them without judgement. However, I know my sister struggled with who she was as well. A lot of it had to do with family. We all have grown up in a strict Christian household and church. Being gay is considered a sin. This was an internal struggle for her until she turned 22. Our parents always kept asking her if she liked girls, if she was gay, was she sure she liked boys...and I knew she liked boys. But I had a hunch she liked girls, but that didn't matter to me. I love her anyway. She's not really "out" but I think it's because people just know and she just is.
One of the biggest common factors that people in the LGBTQ+ community struggle with is their relationship with religion and loved ones who are religious. I was never into church however I am a believer. But there is no way I think people who are not the "norm" will be "damned." My parents have also modeled to have an open home and open arms, so that's what I model with others and my relationships with others. Another common factor being we are from a Latino family. My friends, my sister, and her friends probably don't feel safe. I know they don't feel safe everywhere they go. Like in the article by Linda Heidenreick:
"Her death sent a message to all of us who are queer, but especially to those of us who are queer and Latina, queer and raced, queer and mixed race- we are not safe- even when loved and embraced by our own families, as Gwen Araujo."
One day, a girl came up to me and told me, "People keep saying you're a lesbian." Confused, I asked her, "What's that?" She said, "it's a girl who likes girls" and I said "so what? I do like girls. Don't you?" Of course, I was thinking of friendships with girls. She continues to say, "No, it's a girl who likes to kiss and date girls." I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Okay, what's wrong with being a lesbian? Even though I am not one." She looked at me confused as though she did not have an answer either. Since that day, I had so many questions and was now opened to a whole new world.
My best friend I have known since 6th grade has two mothers. They got married in California when she was a teenager. She got picked on a lot for having lesbian mothers. I could not fathom why people had an issue with people who liked the same sex or were part of the LGBTQ+ community. When I was in 7th grade, my friend was "outted" as bisexual right in front of me while he stood there with obvious shame. I told the girls, "What does bi mean?" And they said, "It's someone who likes girls and boys." I looked my friend and smiled at him with reassurance. I told the girls, "Who cares? I'm still his friend and I don't know why it's a big deal."
To this day, I still have many friends in the LGBTQ+ community. I myself have never struggled with gender or sexuality, and for that I know I am privileged in that sense- and maybe that is because I have grown up in a world with these unique people around me and have accepted them without judgement. However, I know my sister struggled with who she was as well. A lot of it had to do with family. We all have grown up in a strict Christian household and church. Being gay is considered a sin. This was an internal struggle for her until she turned 22. Our parents always kept asking her if she liked girls, if she was gay, was she sure she liked boys...and I knew she liked boys. But I had a hunch she liked girls, but that didn't matter to me. I love her anyway. She's not really "out" but I think it's because people just know and she just is.
One of the biggest common factors that people in the LGBTQ+ community struggle with is their relationship with religion and loved ones who are religious. I was never into church however I am a believer. But there is no way I think people who are not the "norm" will be "damned." My parents have also modeled to have an open home and open arms, so that's what I model with others and my relationships with others. Another common factor being we are from a Latino family. My friends, my sister, and her friends probably don't feel safe. I know they don't feel safe everywhere they go. Like in the article by Linda Heidenreick:
"Her death sent a message to all of us who are queer, but especially to those of us who are queer and Latina, queer and raced, queer and mixed race- we are not safe- even when loved and embraced by our own families, as Gwen Araujo."
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